Antoinette’s Birth Story
When I found out that I was expecting Louis, I immediately said to my husband “I want to have this one at home.” It was my third baby, but it was Keith’s first. Keith’s initial reaction was “Is it safe?” I went through all of the pro’s and con’s of home versus hospital and Keith agreed that it sounded a much nicer option to have our baby at home and said he would do whatever I needed him to do to make it happen. (I am sure he was imagining all of the kettles of water he was going to have to boil, and of course he was worried about the new biscuit coloured carpet we had just laid in our bedroom!)
Tori, my eldest was born in Jerusalem almost 10 years earlier and although the hospital was a small midwife led hospital. The experience was not a good one. The midwife that delivered Tori made a number of errors and I suffered a torn cervix and a massive blood loss. Abigail was born at the local Obstetric Unit and although the birth ran a lot smoother, I certainly didn’t feel in control and felt very managed by the system and protocols. Needless to say I can’t remember the name of either of the midwives or what they even look like.
I knew instinctively that if I was at home I could birth this baby in the right way. I had total faith that my body knew exactly what to do. I wanted to be in my own space with the man that I loved close by and the support of a trusting midwife.
On the morning of the 25th July 2005, I was awoken at 5am with what I knew were contractions. Louis was 10 days over due, I felt excited that things were finally going to happen. I sent Keith off to his meeting, I knew that it would be a quite a few hours, I suggested he get home at about lunch time and have a rest, because it was going to be long night. I went about my business in a normal way. I went to the supermarket to get some goodies in for the midwives and Keith. I did a spot of ironing and just carried on as normal. In the evening at about sevenish Keith and I went for a walk. We popped in to see my mother. I told Mum I am sure the baby will be born tonight, so stand by your beds! By the time we got home I couldn’t talk or walk through the contractions. It was time to call the midwife.
It was about 9am when Liz arrived and boy was I glad to see her. Immediately I felt calm and secure, we hadn’t met before, but I knew she was the right person to come on this journey with us. I asked her if she wanted to check me, to which she responded, “I think I should get to know you a bit before we do something so intimate.” I could have kissed her. What a perfect answer.
She sat and read through my birth plan and asked me questions in between the contractions. She rubbed my back, talked to Keith and quietly wrote her notes. She checked that the baby was OK and didn’t do a thing without asking me first. All through this she kept saying, we’ll have a baby by morning birdsong! I had Liz encouraging me, and Keith telling me how much he loved me, and how radiant I looked. I knew I couldn’t fail.
At about midnight, I felt very shaky; Liz ran a bath, lit some candles and added a few drops of Lavender oil to the water. She helped me in and took a warm flannel and laid it on my tummy. The contractions slowed right down, which was lovely, as it gave me a bit of rest and time to catch my breath. She let me be for about 45 minutes, no rush; no “let’s get this baby out.” When I came out of the bath, Liz checked me for the first time. I was about 8cm. I did a few contractions standing and squatting until I got to 9.5 cm. That final half centimetre just didn’t want to go, so we agreed together that she could break my waters. This was about 2.30am, soon I was fully dilated and ready to push. With Keith’s strong arms around me I pushed. This is the moment we have been waiting for.
At 3.41am on the 26th July 2005, Louis Henri was born; 9lbs ½ oz. Liz guided our beautiful son into the world with not so much as a tear. Our family felt whole. Liz asked if Keith would like to cut the cord, which he did, then she got Keith to undo his shirt and gave Louis to him for a bit of skin to skin contact with the proud Dad. It all felt so special. Louis and I had a bath together. Keith got Louis dressed and Liz washed and saw to me. It was wonderful. I felt so safe and cared for by this woman who 8 hours ago I hadn’t even met.
I slipped into clean sheets, in my own bed. Liz laid Louis between Keith and I tucked us in and said goodnight, just as the birds began their dawn chorus! Keith and I are expecting our second child next May, and of course we couldn’t imagine doing it without Liz. I can hardly wait.
