A brief history:
I had a ‘planned’ c-section for my first son George in December 2007 following a failed ECV (External Cephalic Version) for breech. Although I felt that this outcome on the day was inevitable I was disappointed that I had lost my voice and hadn’t pushed to have my ECV performed sooner. I was nearly 39 weeks when it was attempted and feel that he could have turned had there been an appointment for 36-37 weeks when they are ideally performed. Anyway 6 months later and we were shocked but happy to find ourselves expecting again, the mini pill obviously wasn’t enough to stop Fred getting comfy!
The pregnancy:
I knew I wanted to attempt a vaginal birth this time and after some discussion with my husband we decided that our best option was to have a home birth. I am a qualified midwife and although not practising felt comfortable with our decision and my knowledge of what could be achieved with the right support. At 18 weeks I contacted a midwife I had worked with during my training who had now become an independent midwife and we went from there. Liz, with her back up Sarah, who I had also worked with, were great and felt confident and happy with our plans for home birth.
The pregnancy was a difficult one at times as I suffered terribly with migraines. I have had these all my life and suffered up to 14 weeks with my first pregnancy but this time they just persisted. I was working 4 days per week on a computer all day and was really struggling. The migraines were lasting for 4-5 days at a time and then would only give me one day’s break before starting again. After trying many things I gave in and was signed off work for the rest of the pregnancy. So George and I settled in to a routine of being at home together and we got through it. He is a very loving and caring little boy and the time together was wonderful. The migraines were also much easier to deal with without having to drive and work at a PC.
So on to the birth:
I had expected this baby early as I had niggled at 35 weeks but that was not to be! My due date of the 26th February came and went and I was surprisingly calm about it. The VBAC group on Yahoo were a fantastic source of support and I felt more and more confident each day that things would pan out ok. I also listened to my Hypnobirthing CDs, which were so relaxing.
At 40+2 (Saturday) I had some really strong Braxton Hicks (toning surges or practise contractions) all day and felt that things may be starting. We carried on as usual doing our shopping and watching England get beaten by one point to Ireland in the Six Nations. By the evening all had gone off and I resigned myself to wait a little longer.
On the Monday at 40+4 my midwife Liz came to see me and offered to check me and see if I was favourable for a stretch and sweep. I accepted, as I was keen to see if Saturday’s action had done anything. Sure enough it had and my cervix was 2-3cms and very soft and stretchy. Liz performed a painless stretch and sweep, which to me was a great indicator that I was nearly ready.
That afternoon at 3pm I started to get the strong Braxton Hicks again but this time accompanied by some bad backache. My sister popped in to visit with her kids after school and she rubbed my back while I carried on contracting irregularly. My niece and nephew kept Georgie entertained so I was grateful for that too! Although the contractions were irregular they definitely persisted and they were feeling so uncomfortable in my back I was worried my baby may be OP. I tried to put this to the back of my mind and concentrate on moving around as much as possible and after an hour or so the backache stopped.
My husband came home at five and my sister left feeling very excited that this may be it! I didn’t dare call them contractions still as I had had so many little bouts of irregular Braxton Hicks over the last few weeks I was sure it would all stop.
By the evening they were still irregular and no stronger than earlier but definitely persisting. I went up to our bedroom as I wanted to feel cosy and Paul came up and worked on the laptop while I watched Jane Austen’s Emma. By the last part of the film I was finding it hard to concentrate and asked Paul to log on to contractionmaster.com so that he could log the contractions in between working on his ebay shop.
By 11pm I felt that I should try and rest and didn’t want to keep Paul up in case all went off and he had to still work the next day. I must have lain down for an hour or so contracting every 20-30 mins but each time one came on the pain was hard to deal with. The hardest thing was that I was sleeping in between and waking in pain unable to move until it had passed. I tried a couple staying awake and decided that it would be best to just get up and go downstairs to deal with them. I left Paul sleeping, as I still didn’t want to admit this was it and also felt ok about being on my own for a bit.
I paced around the living room and logged my contractions on contractionmaster.com until around 2.30am. By this point they were every 4-5 mins and were starting to feel intense. I was feeling the need to ooooh and aaah during them and knew I was in labour now. I decided to wake Paul, as the pool would take a while to fill with warm water. He came straight down when I woke him and got to it. At 3am I called Liz and asked her to come over. I knew she would take about half an hour to get here and also I was desperate to get in the pool as soon as possible!
By the time Liz arrived at 3.35am I was contracting every 3mins and was really feeling them. I felt in control though and was pacing around making my ooohs and aaahs as low pitched as I could. I had read Spiritual Midwifery by Ina May Gaskin cover to cover during my pregnancy and knew that I had to keep loose and relaxed to let things happen. Liz was happy that labour was definitely established and so didn’t ask to check my cervix. I was also happy with that, as I knew things were going ok. She did check Freddie’s heart rate and my pulse etc and all was good. Liz also called Sarah at this point, as she was happy that labour was cracking on well.
I asked Paul to call Mum and Dad around 4am as I felt I was starting to get loud and that my frequent trips to the loo were going to disturb George. I knew that I didn’t want him in the house when I was in labour in case we needed to transfer in a hurry. Also he is only just 15 months old and I knew that he would be upset seeing me in pain and would need some attention.
Mum and Dad arrived around 4.45am and I had just got in to the pool. I was glad to see Mum and had a big contraction as soon as she walked in. I knew she would be worried about seeing me in pain but she gave me a quick kiss and wished me luck and took George off to get back to bed at their house. I was so grateful that he was taken care of and could now concentrate on the labour. Mum told me afterwards that she was worried sick all day not about the baby particularly but about me as I will always be her baby!
By 5am I was contracting every 2mins and was losing some pink show. When I got back in the pool I started using Entonox and immediately gagged and thought I would be sick. I panicked in my own mind for a moment as I thought “Oh God, what if I can’t stomach the Entonox? I won’t have any pain relief options left here!” Luckily with some peppermint on a tab on Paul’s shirt that feeling quickly passed and it became my best buddy for the rest of the labour! Paul was great sitting right next to me at the edge of the pool and helping me sip drinks. He also did a Stirling job of keeping the pool temperature just right and at one point had to put some pans on to boil!
Around 6.30am I started to feel some pressure in my bum and thought “Oh great, this is moving along well”. I was still in control but the contractions were definitely heavy now. My hips were starting to hurt badly with the contraction and I was wriggling around in the pool trying to relieve some of the pain.
I have to resort to my notes for times after this, as everything was so intense. At 6.49 am I was starting to push a little with contractions and Liz and Sarah noted that they could see my perineum bulging. I kind of knew though that I wasn’t quite ready and told them so.
At 7am Liz did a quick examination in the pool and concluded that my cervix was around 8-9 cms dilated and that the head was quite low. We decided at this point that it would be best to get out for a while and try the birthing seat to see if this could change the dynamics of my pelvis and get rid of that last 2cms of cervix.
All the signs were indicating that I should be fully dilated and Liz performed another quick examination to double check that I hadn’t changed during the shift to the birthing seat. I was 9cms dilated and the head was well applied to the cervix, which was great. I have to say that I hated sitting on the birthing seat as it made everything just feel so intense that I thought I might lose it at that point. After this we carried on with a trip to the loo and then back in to the pool as it was where I was most comfy.
At 8.30 we decided that it would be a good idea to have a proper examination with me lying down so that Liz could get a good picture of what was going on. My cervix was actually 8cms dilated and Freddie was in a great position. My waters were still intact at this point and I was really unsure of what to do. Liz gave us our options re transfer in, stay at home or wait for an hour then transfer. Paul and I stayed in our room for a moment to talk it through but really I already knew that I didn’t want to go anywhere. At this point I was actually saying to Paul that I couldn’t do it and it hurt too much but he reminded me of what I had wanted for this labour and that all was well with me and the baby. I felt kind of trapped at this point because I knew that I didn’t want to transfer but was in so much pain that if there had been an ambulance outside I would have definitely got in it straight away! I remember thinking that I just couldn’t imagine coping with an ambulance journey either. I also thought at this point that next time I was definitely going to get some pethidine to have at home. I can’t believe I was thinking about next time!!!
We carried on and I got back in the pool feeling like my hips were being torn apart. I can’t describe the pain but I could feel the baby grinding against my pelvis like he just wasn’t getting anywhere and was trying so hard. I found the next couple of hours so hard I really relied totally on everyone there to keep me going. I was frustrated at times as the gas kept either being faulty or the canister was only partly full and I would feel as though I had to use it even in between contractions as my break from them was so short I literally had around 20-30 seconds before another one would start.
At 10.15am Paul started to press on my pelvis which is a technique described in Spiritual Midwifery. This helped open my pelvic bones to make the outlet wider and it really helped. I honestly don’t know if Freddie would have been born at home without Paul doing this. He was really concerned to begin with that he was hurting me as he was pushing so hard his arms were shaking under the tension and he is a fairly strong bloke! I assured him though that it was nothing compared to the pain of the baby hitting the bones and that I really needed him to carry on.
At 10.45 I was encouraged to get back out of the pool and sit on the dreaded birthing seat again. I agreed, as I knew it would help but, my God was it awful! Liz examined me whilst on the stool and felt that I had an anterior lip of cervix. She also offered to break my waters, which I was glad of at this point as I was starting to lose control. Liz broke my waters which were meconium stained and I remember asking her whether it was old or new meconium to which she replied ‘Oh I can’t really tell’. I knew she could but that she was trying not to worry me as when I looked I could see that there was fresh meconium there. I knew though that there wasn’t much we could do about it and that Liz would transfer me in if she were at all worried. Freddie’s heart rate was so steady all the way through that it never gave any of us cause for concern either, which was great.
Back in the pool I found myself leaning forwards and starting to push. The last bit of cervix must have gone when my waters broke as the urge to push was massively overwhelming and I couldn’t have done anything else. It was weird but I was pushing my face in to the side of the pool when I was pushing which was kind of making me do ‘horse lips’ against the plastic. I must have looked a total state but really couldn’t think of anything but getting my baby out now. Paul was behind me supporting me and I really felt great that with each push I could actually feel Freddie moving down. After what seemed to me like only minutes Liz suggested I lean back and open my legs wide at which point they noticed the head was visible. I knew it was there before but was concentrating too hard to tell them!
This part seemed to go really quickly and I just pushed and pushed as my body was just taking over. I felt him starting to crown and could also feel myself tearing at the top of my labia as his head was slowly coming. Liz told me later that she sympathised as the crowning was really quite slow but after the hip pain I could deal with this, as I knew it was so nearly over. Freddie’s head started to deliver and Liz had to keep encouraging an extra push for the nose then mouth then chin. At this point the midwife in me thought “Oh God – not a shoulder dystocia!” but there was nothing I could do but keep calm and push. Finally his head delivered and then another push for his body and another for this hips and he was out!
I looked down and scooped him up to my chest and just couldn’t believe I had done it. He was so alert and looking straight at me calmly. He didn’t cry but just lay there and looked at Paul and I and we just fell in love.
Freddie James Sim was born in the pool at 11.47 with apgars of 9,10,10. He was fine and had no problems considering he had passed meconium. We let the cord stop pulsating before Paul cut it and then in our own time got out of the pool. I tried for a while in various positions to deliver the placenta but just didn’t have any more push in me so we moved upstairs so that I could try the loo. Thankfully my placenta did the work for me and dropped out down the loo! Liz fetched it out of the U bend and found that it was intact and all healthy. I was just so glad to get in my own bed and there was no rush to do anything. We had lots of cuddles and a little breastfeed and then Freddie was weighed and checked over. He was a rather large 8lb 11.5oz which I couldn’t believe and still can’t nearly 4 weeks later. George weighed 6lb 9oz so I was expecting maybe 7lbish but what a whopper! I am only 5ft 3in and size 4 feet so no wonder he struggled a bit with my pelvis. It felt totally brilliant though to not only have done it all but to have gotten through that difficult part of the labour with just some TLC and deliver a large (for me) baby! I had two labial grazes next to my urethra which we decided didn’t need suturing as they weren’t bleeding and were meeting together well. I don’t think I could have stood any more pain at that point anyway so was glad I didn’t need any attention. They stung like mad afterwards but were still nothing compared to having a c-section.
Four weeks on I feel like a human being again and all is healed and feeling good. Freddie is a really hungry baby and we are still getting to know him. The nights are a bit hit and miss with sleep but we are really happy. George loves his little brother too and has given him lots of pats (slaps) on the head and sloppy kisses!
I think Paul is also still buzzing from the whole event and he feels really pleased that he was able to help me so much and never felt like a spare part which he did when we were having the c-section. It’s also great to hear him say how brave I was when he talks about the birth and gives me a little boost every time I hear it!
Overall I am so glad with the way everything went and would definitely want to deliver at home again. I still think that next time I will get some pethidine just in case!!
