I am part of a small group of mothers who know firsthand that not every pregnancy ends happily; and the death of a baby can happen to anyone. It happened to us. Our beautiful firstborn daughter Abigail Andie Collins was “born sleeping” at 00.27am on Tuesday 22nd September 2009. She was a perfect seven pounds eleven ounces with dark brown hair, and an obvious combination of her adoring parents. Abigail had her Daddy’s forehead and feet and from me she took her nose, mouth and hands. Our perfect daughter was lost to a very rare cord accident during labour. Abigail’s umbilical cord detached away from her belly button – cutting off her life line. It was then our world stopped and the future we had planned was wiped blank. Our world had changed and so had we.
We wanted our baby. We still want our baby. We will always want our baby Abigail but as the weeks and months passed we were ready to ready to open our hearts to another child. Perhaps it was fate but it was the week of Abigail’s first birthday that we conceived what would become our precious little Rainbow and her little sister. We were overjoyed but that elation quickly turned to fear – what if this happened again.
We knew that the journey to bringing this baby home would be stressful but other emotions such as anger and guilt were also strong. We wanted to ensure an outlet for this tension and emotion and feel completely supported in our care and decided to engage a private midwife to support us during this pregnancy.
Liz Nightingale entered our lives and I am forever grateful; Liz understood the anxieties we held, after our first meeting to discuss possible care I remember feeling listened to. I remember feeling respected. I remember kind hands offering comfort and hope. Liz understood the journey to bringing a second child into the world. I suppose our care was unconventional for Liz in many respects – given the circumstances of Abigail’s loss we had decided to have a planned section for this subsequent pregnancy. Liz was a huge support negotiating with the hospital – and worked in partnership with the excellent care we received via the NHS.
I was able to receive all maternity care from comfort of my own home, was accompanied to hospital appointments for scans and visits with my consultant obstetrician, provided advice and guidance on pregnancy care, as well as relaxation and aromatherapy treatment. Aside from this clinical care I am most thankful to Liz for her kindness, patience, warmth, decisiveness, strength, honesty and compassion. 
It is these attributes that allowed us to feel safe and bond with our little Rainbow.
Our little Rainbow – Allison Aster Collins was born at 9.54am on the 27th May 2011. Allison screamed and the breath I had been holding for nine months was released and we three as a little family cried; Allison at the shock of a bright room and cold and us that she was here and perfect.
The journey of my pregnancy with Allison was emotionally taxing, and I am so thankful to Liz that she was so accommodating and respectful of our fears. We felt in safe hands. I honestly cannot thank you enough for the care that we received throughout my pregnancy; during the birth and the first weeks of caring for Allison.
Thank you always,
Shelley and Christopher
Rainbow babies: – The idea that this baby is like a rainbow after a storm; that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. When the rainbow appears, it doesn’t mean the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover but the rainbow provides a counter balance of colour, energy and hope.