We were expecting our fourth child and as the two eldest were born overdue and the little one
ten days earlier we expected this one to be the same- earlier or later. But we were quite lucky,
because the baby showed off on the second morning after due day. As the others were born on
the very same day (they always showed off in the morning and were born within a few hours,
labour shortened and became easier from child to child), we thought that this baby would as
well be born on the very same day. But again we were wrong.
As we were planning a homebirth (none of my children was born in a hospital, I was never
and would never be brave enough to give birth in a hospital), I had always imagined the baby
to be born at night, so that the brothers would be asleep.
During breakfast the contractions started and I gave Liz a ring to let her know that the baby
would probably be born within the next hours. But to my and my husband’s disappointment
(He had cancelled work to be near me just in case I would need him) the contractions stopped
before they had really begun. As I was thinking about whether to leave the boys at home
or ask some friends to look after them all the time, there was probably too much adrenalin
around to get things started. When Liz came on midday to bring in all the stuff she would
need and to look after us she told me, that she would expect the contractions to begin again,
when the boys were asleep. And sure enough she was right.
During dinner the contractions came back and were so painful from the beginning on, that I
could not remain seated. So I left my husband and the children downstairs and went up to our
base at the top of the house, where I wanted to give birth. While my husband looked after the
children to prepare them for bed I brought a lot of candles and aromatic oils upstairs to create
a nice and calming surrounding for going into labour and a little baby to be born.
From nine on I had contractions about every ten minutes and was surprised that I found them
quite painful, as the birth of our third son had been quite easy and I had not experienced the
contractions very painful till the baby was born. Though the contractions were strong and
painful I felt, that the baby was still quite high and did not move downwards during and with
the contractions. When my husband came upstairs we tried to lie down and relax and get some
sleep, but I was afraid, that the contractions would stop completely. At the same time I was
afraid, that I would have these painful contractions for hours without success and would be
completely exhausted in the end without making any process.
I gave Liz a ring at about twelve o’clock to tell her about my feelings and my anxiety and she
tried to calm me and suggested that I shall go to bed to get some sleep and let things happen
just as they would. So I went back to bed and did get some minutes of sleep before the next
wave would wake me up again. I did not have the feeling, that these quite painful contractions
did change anything or that I made any progress and got nervous and anxious again. Finally, I
got up and gave Liz another ring at about one thirty, because I really felt that having her with
me would support and assure me that everything was fine. The contractions were now quite
regularly (about every six minutes) and toning (chanting a long low note with a relaxed face
and jaw – Liz) helped me to stand them.
When Liz arrived it slowed down as it had with the others when the midwife arrived to assist.
But after about twenty to thirty minutes contractions started to get stronger and longer again.
I walked through the rooms toning and ended up at the birthing ball as I had when having
number three. As I felt a little hungry my husband went downstairs to make me some toast.
Having eaten it the contractions became even stronger and being on the ball and toning during
the waves helped me to concentrate on getting huge and allowing the cervix to open. I felt the
baby gliding down and with the pressure it felt even easier to let the cervix enlarge. My back
ached quite a lot and Liz and my husband helped me through it in pressing strongly against
it. When I began to walk around again, now having stronger contractions and feeling quite
powerful and effective and capable of giving birth (hopefully soon!), I could feel the baby
moving back upwards again.
I was disappointed because again I felt the process slowing down. I could not feel my
cervix “contracted to my brain” anymore because without the pressure onto it I felt
quite “blind” for this area again. When the second midwife Sarah came about 3.30 or 4
o’clock (Liz had given her a ring when labour started being effective with the baby’s head
down), they suggested that I should kneel on the bed to bring the baby down again and
help things getting effective. But this has never been a good position for me and so I started
moving again.
We started trying different things to get the baby down. I walked up and down the stairs with
a special kind of “hip-moving”, sat on the loo, where at least I could feel my cervix open with
the pressure downwards. I made knee bends at the staircase and hung myself from the shower
frame. I could really feel my cervix opening using the different methods one after the other,
though the baby’s head was still quite high.
I felt, that the birth was quite near, I knew it from the sounds I made that were even
more “animal” than before. So Liz suggested using the birthing stool she had brought with
her. My husband was sitting on an armchair behind me, so that I could lean back on him,
which made me feel supported and protected. Though the contractions were very strong
now the baby still did not move downwards. Liz checked my cervix and I was fully dilated
and so she finally suggested opening the membranes to help the baby find its way down to
be born. My membranes never ruptured before, they always had to be opened and so I was
not surprised, that this seemed to be the way to deal with it again. When Liz opened the
membranes the baby’s head went down in a rush and my contractions became stronger than
ever. Nevertheless I did not feel like pushing yet, it felt as if the baby should find its own way
down.
The pushing part had always been the most painful and frightening for me during labour. I
always shouted things like “I can’t do this!” “This is too much!” “I won’t manage this!” “I’m
too exhausted!” “No, no I don’t want this!” and though I had perfectly managed “toning”
during labour to make the cervix open wide I did now not manage anymore.
Our little son Curd, so far fast asleep downstairs, now began to shout for Mummy, because
it was 6 o’clock- always his time to wake up- and I had probably woken him up with all that
shouting and toning. But I was in a state not to care about him. Now pushing the baby out
needed all my powers. I could now feel it in a good position for finally pushing it out. Liz had
started using hot coffee compresses at my vulva to reduce the risk of rupturing and that helped
a lot, to concentrate on the warmth and gentleness while pushing the baby down and out.
I could feel the head being pressed through the birth channel, the sensation of the head now
being pushed through the vagina and outside into the world. Though I had started sobbing
and felt like dying I knew that this was the final part. And then I could hear the little baby
crying with its body still inside me. We were all surprised and then with the next contraction
I pushed the rest of the baby outside. And here it was- finally outside, crying and I knew that
everything was fine and the worst part would now be followed by the nicest!
Liz laid the baby onto my tummy, I could feel the (quite short) umbilical cord being stretched,
and put my arms around the tiny baby lying there. I was not too nosy about the sex, because
having three sons I was quite sure that it would be another boy. When the second midwife
Sarah asked:” What it is then? A boy or a girl?” Liz told me that I should feel it…and
so I did. And was overwhelmed with joy and thankfulness when I found out, that it was -
incredibly but true – a little girl! I turned to see how Konrad felt about being the father of a
daughter now and saw nothing than surprise and joy!
Just then I could hear the big brothers Julius and Curd opening their door and coming up the
stairs. Liz covered me a bit so that they would not be frightened by the look of me. They were
so marvellous, just asking for the baby and being happy to see their little ???sister??? and not
caring about anything else. Even my toning and shouting had felt quite normal for them and
nothing to be frightened about. After a while the eldest one, Laurence, 12 years old and for
that reason more anxious and afraid of what he would find upstairs, walked up the stairs to
get a glimpse on us. He was quite pale and very surprised to find a little sister upstairs and his
Mum still alive (he went on looking at me with this delicately asking “is everything alright?”
impression on his face for a few days till we talked about it )!
As the placenta had not been born yet (I felt that I could not do it with the boys around) I sent
my husband and his three sons downstairs to have their breakfast. When our little daughter
began to suck at the breast it took a while till the contractions became powerful so that the
placenta separated and I could finally push it out! What a relief! It had taken about an hour,
with my sons it had always been born about five minutes after the baby and it had frightened
me a bit that it took longer this time.
So everything was done and I could relax while Liz and Sarah prepared everything so that I
could lie down on our bed. And when all the boys came back upstairs they found their mother
and their little sister happily cuddled up together in bed to be joined by all of them.
Thank you so much!!!
