Joy and Richard
On Friday after lunch I felt a bit niggly. I went for a snooze during Abi’s nap after putting the dinner ready but didn’t sleep. I’d been aware of a fair bit of mucus on wiping at my last trip to the loo and wondered if things were kicking off. I had a range of tummy tightenings, but nothing systematic or regular. After about 40 minutes I got up, and on going to the loo again had a more convincing blob of mucus. I toyed with the idea of texting Richard to say that the plug had gone and he shouldn’t expect to be in work on Monday, but decided not to as it would only get him going unnecessarily. I went to coffee at Emma’s and everything seemed to calm down, I felt just as usual for the rest of the afternoon.
Richard was fairly excited when he got home and I told him things were beginning to move on, but we had a normal dinner and Abi’s bath and bed routine. Richard suggested we do some relaxation in the evening, but I said it was our last chance to do something relaxing (!) in the evening, so we chatted in front of the telly and ended up heading to bed quite early as I was tired. We read for a bit, and Richard went through a book of names looking for emergency boys’ names – we never did agree on a substitute for Lucy!
I got to sleep relatively quickly, having been regularly taking 2 hours or more to drop off in the last fortnight. I woke at about midnight. Autopilot suggested I head to the loo, but in a moment I realised my nightshirt was wet and that my waters must have gone. I headed to the loo without dripping, but decided they had definitely gone. I went back to bed unsure what to do as I wasn’t having any contractions and didn’t want to disturb Richard or Liz yet. Having been in bed a minute or 2, I did feel a contraction and thought that if things were going to kick off, I should probably sit on the loo and have a good clear-out sooner rather than later. I toyed with the thought for another 5 minutes and had another contraction, so got up to the loo again and took my book. I’d forgotten my torch, so I went back for it, which disturbed Richard enough for him to ask if I was OK. I said my waters had gone and he leapt out of bed with a good comic alacrity. He felt the bed (I was so chuffed I’d put a pad under the sheet!) and my nightshirt and was all for getting the pool going immediately. I think I was more cautious as I’d still only had a couple of surges and not that strongly, so I went to the loo and he got dressed and set about turning up the thermostat and other details.
I didn’t want to call Liz until I’d had a few more contractions, so pottered about. I changed the sheets, with help from Bramble the cat, who was somewhat perturbed by the nocturnal activity. Richard was moving furniture and things downstairs. By about half past I worked out I’d had 5 or 6 contractions and did the maths to work out that meant every 5 minutes and it was time to make calls. I called Liz first, who was lovely (“How exciting, we’re going to have a baby!”) and said she’d be in her car in minutes. Then I called Mum and Dad. Dad answered the phone and sounded remarkably focused, saying that Mum was already getting dressed. He was off to a day school at 8am on Sat, but I said we might have news for him before then. I didn’t get to speak to Mum, which felt a bit funny, but we had talked through expectations quite a few weeks ago, and I hoped I’d be OK to chat to her about what we wanted her to do as standby for Abi when she arrived.
Contractions were still about 5 minutes apart and not too uncomfortable. I got Richard to help me into the TENS and helped him get things ready in the dining room – I was beginning to chafe a bit that he was setting up hoses and plastic sheeting and things and the pool itself wasn’t blown up or filling yet. I unpacked the other stuff, setting up towels in piles on the dining room table, putting my notes out, finding my pregnancy diary for Richard to note down times of things and so on. It felt like there was quite a lot to do.
Richard pressed me to eat and drink, almost comically so, as that was something I didn’t do right last time. I had some grape juice and just before Liz arrived he made me a bit of toast with chocolate spread. It was one of the joys of being at home that I had a much wider choice of things to eat, not just muesli bars! Richard also gave me a kiss and a hug from time to time – one of the best things to come out of all his reading!
Liz was very cheery when she arrived and proceeded to bring in piles of stuff after an initial verbal check. I was a bit worried about her finding space for it all and leaving room for my ball, but she had a system for it and squirreled it away very neatly. I think the contractions were getting more powerful, I remember leaning on one of the dining room chairs and pacing about during them, but I was still talking at that point and was quite chatty in between them.
Mum arrived at about 2.30 am and gave me a big hug. She was very good, offering to go upstairs at once, but we did show her the set up with the pool (now nearly full) and offered her a drink and so on before she disappeared.
I wrote a few things in my pregnancy diary sitting on the birthing ball and got up to lean on the back of the sofa for a few contractions. After a while I wanted to lean on the birthing ball (Liz said later I practically dived onto it for one) and knelt down and hugged it, doing figures of 8 with my hips. I put a muslin over it to make it comfier. At one point I asked Richard to take a photo as I wanted a record this time – it hadn’t felt quite right to take photos in hospital, or at least it didn’t occur to either of us until Abi was actually born. He asked me when I wanted to get into the pool. I was doing OK at that point and Liz suggested I hold off until I couldn’t cope without.
Richard had been asking me at intervals if I wanted him to put on a HypnoBirthing CD or read a script and I hadn’t up until now, wanting to be more grounded and active, but now I was ready to zone out a bit and he put on the CD. He and Liz were wandering about the room sorting the odd thing out quietly, but every now and then they would come and sit by me. At one point one of them sat either side of me and I wondered what was about to happen, and shortly Liz asked to listen to the baby. It was a bit of an irritation but I largely ignored it and her! I was doing OK with the TENS, although like last time I several times forgot to turn the boost off when the contraction waned and then had a brief panic with the next one, turning it off and on again a few seconds later.
I didn’t listen very actively to the CD, but found it reassuring and every now and then took in a phrase. The “1, 2, 3, relax” mantra was very helpful. Other bits I found myself saying “oh no it isn’t” in response to an assertion, but I think it got through to my subconscious anyway. I thought I should go to the loo and took quite a few contractions to think about it, then several more for Liz to listen to the baby again. Richard helped me up the stairs and held the TENS machine. I must have been making noises during out breaths of contractions for a little while by then, as I was conscious on the loo that Mum had left her bedroom door open and I didn’t want to disturb her. She did emerge but R fielded her at the door and I didn’t see her. It took about 3 contractions in the bathroom before I could head down again.
It might have been around that point that the TENS leads came unplugged, maybe when I took my wrap off because I was getting too hot, or when Liz listened to the baby again. Liz and Richard were both in the dining room, writing notes and adjusting the pool temperature respectively, and I had a contraction without relief before managing to gasp out for help. Another one came on while I was standing up and I nearly panicked, but Liz was to hand and told Richard to let me hang round his neck, which worked. I was set up back on the ball with the wheat lavender pack on my lower back in time for the next, phew.
I was finding it very hard work and wondering about my ability to cope, not really having any idea how far along I was as I couldn’t sense how far down the baby was. I began to wonder about getting in the pool but didn’t want to if I still had hours ahead of me. Liz reassured me at intervals that Lucy’s heartbeat was OK, and as I got noisier Richard gave me more reassurance, using the affirmations we’d worked out between us to tell me Lucy was coming closer and my body was working well. That was lovely and made it a much more personal experience. The relaxation CD ended and Richard started it again but I waved to him to turn it off after a short while and asked for Rachmaninov instead. I wasn’t really taking in the CD and wanted to head into my own zone now. The music was rather quiet, though, so I didn’t really hear it.
I told Liz at one point that I was beginning to regret the toast, and she checked if I was going to be sick, but I just felt a little queasy. That must have been earlier, because the nausea overtook me quite suddenly on one particularly painful contraction that set off a set of judders, and as my moo tailed off I was sick on the muslin on the ball without any warning. Liz and Richard appeared and Liz produced a cardboard bowl. I was standing up for the next contraction and leant on Liz, throwing up twice afterwards in short succession. I knelt back down again and Liz and I both mentioned the pool at more or less the same moment. I was aware that I must have hit transition, what with the shakes, sickness and feeling I couldn’t cope any more.
Richard helped me off with the TENS and my nightie and into the pool. It felt lovely, but not lovely enough; I had a contraction very promptly and without the TENS found it really hard, I couldn’t writhe any part of me into a comfortable position and it felt like it lasted a long time. I made a lot of noise for that one, and instead of a focused hum on the out breath was rather panicked. Liz and Richard were reassuring and Liz said something about hanging in there and using the breath more constructively, which hit the right note. I found the next couple of contractions very hard too, but was conscious of the need to push by the 3rd or 4th, which was good to know where I was at.
I was a bit chilly and wished the water was a foot deeper so that my back was covered by it. But my face was very hot, and I was irritated by Richard topping up the pool with hot water at intervals as the bits of me in the pool were comfortable and I wanted peace. I could hear kettles boiling again and again next door in the kitchen and realised it was the urn Richard had borrowed from work coming to the boil repeatedly. I asked R rather tetchily to turn it off. I thought I didn’t have that long to go and wouldn’t need that much more hot water!
I was thinking of Caroline taking only 4 pushes to get Anna out and was a bit disappointed not to have any comments about seeing heads yet, but Liz was using a mirror with determination (I think I kicked it out of place with each push) so I knew I wasn’t far off and could sense her and Richard’s excitement at visible progress. After a while Liz told me I might feel the head if I tried. I think it took another contraction or so to get an arm down and it was quite a boost to feel some hair and wipe away the jelly-type stuff around it.
A few more contractions and I got much more sense of what was happening; I could feel the head coming down and sliding an apparently quite long way back with each push. The contractions were of quite varying length, which was a bit confusing. I’d gear myself up for a good long one and not get far at all before it eased off. But I wanted to work with my body and wasn’t going to bust anything by trying to push when the muscles weren’t up for it. I’d felt the head get quite near out and was determined the next push would see it out. I was a bit dismayed when the contraction began to wane and it hadn’t quite gone far enough, and did try to push a bit more. It felt rather strange to have a big head between my legs but seemed a fairly short time to the next contraction that got it out. I remember feeling I had quite enough to do and don’t think I had the capacity to feel with my hand again by then (I had felt two or three times). I gasped out something about someone else catching her, as I wanted to be able to keep my left arm draped over the side of the pool.
Once the head was out, I had the strangest set of sensations. Lucy was actively squirming to get out and it was spectacularly uncomfortable while she turned round and wriggled into position. I was aware of Richard taking a photo and was glad he was capturing the excitement. It was a relief when the next contraction came and I was able to push her out. I remember saying something like “come ON Lucy, I want you out”. When Lucy was out, Liz directed Richard to get her, and I was hustled back to sit on the step and hold her. It’s a bit ungainly getting your legs and the cord coordinated and it felt like a shorter cord this time, I was aware of a bit of tugging. I sat and cuddled Lucy, finding it a bit tricky to hold her in the water at the right angle and keep her submerged to the right extent. She had lots of lovely dark hair, and I sloshed water over bits of her to get the gunge off. It was lovely to kiss and look at our daughter together. Lucy was quite alert and fairly happy, making a few small noises but no loud cries that I remember.
I still felt cold, and began to shake quite shortly, getting uncontrollable. I tried to stop it and couldn’t, which was a bit scary and I got more tense as I shivered hugely. Richard and Liz got more active behind me, and I think a towel was put round my shoulders. I was also becoming aware of a lot of blood in the pool, which was going bright red. That was very different to my previous experience when I’d been surprised at how clear the water stayed, and that worried me too. Liz said, calmly, that she’d like to cut the cord and give me Syntometrine to get the placenta out. I queried if the cord had stopped pulsing and Liz put it in my hand so I could see it had. Richard cut the cord and commented that the scissors were much better than the ones he used for Abi! Then Liz gave me an injection in my thigh. I was still shaking and a bit scared, but Liz was very calm and reassuring and said she wasn’t quite sure where all the blood was from so it would be as well to get out and check. Richard took Lucy and Liz got me out of the pool and onto the sofa on a mess of towels and inco pads. I asked Richard to give me a rub as I was so cold, but people just put towels round me instead.
After a short while Liz wanted to get the placenta out and she asked me to push and I think tugged on the cord a bit. It did finally come and things settled down a bit. Mum appeared while Liz was focusing on the placenta and I could hear her and Richard exclaiming over Lucy. Liz checked I was OK with Mum being there, but I was rather out of it and didn’t care. Once the placenta was out, Lucy was handed back to me and settled in for a feed. She was quite alert and keen to get on with life, which was lovely. About that point Liz asked if we’d actually checked she was a girl, which made us laugh – we hadn’t, but she was! The shakes had subsided and I felt a bit more human.
Someone got cups of tea all round and we chatted while Liz sorted out lots of bits and pieces. I was a bit surprised Lucy hadn’t been weighed before feeding, but happy to go with it, she looked very comfortable with life. She had both sides. From time to time Richard or Liz asked for things; a babygro, maternity towels, etc and I asked for a nightshirt as I was still cold; which were all in the black hospital bag on the table. I felt smug for having got it all to hand! I think Richard started draining the pool already. He might even have put a load of washing on – we’d got through a lot of towels!
Mum went back upstairs after a while in quest of some sleep before Abi woke up. Liz weighed Lucy – 3.33kg on the scale, with 20g for the sling. Liz said that was about 7lbs, which sounded good. Lucy was definitely a week better cooked than Abi had been, she fitted her skin better and was plumper all round. She had quite a bit of vernix still on her and some lanugo still on her ears and shoulders.
We took some photos and got Liz to take one of the 3 of us. Then Liz asked if I’d like a bath or go to bed and we decided to try to get some rest while Abi was still asleep and I could wash later. Liz came upstairs with us and settled all 3 of us into bed before going downstairs to sort out the rest of her bits and pieces. We heard her turn the lights off and close the door behind her after a while.
Richard and I dozed on and off for an hour and then heard Abi stirring. We decided to get up as we were both awake. We put Lucy on the bed, and the little present we’d got for Abi, and went into Abi’s room. Mum also appeared and Abi was terribly excited to see her. We got Abi out of the cot and brought her into our room to see a surprise. She was briefly interested in the baby but liked her present! Mum, Richard and Abi went downstairs to get breakfast and brought it back up so we all had breakfast in bed together.
